I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back. The School Bus Riddle ONLY applies in the USA. When it’s raining, cows don’t go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! You're up, you're down,but in the end the house always wins.Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry, It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.- Mark Twain (attributed), Morality is simply the attitude we adopttowards people whom we personally dislike.- Oscar Wilde, I love being married.It's so great to find that one special personyou want to annoy for the rest of your life.- Rita Rudner, The only fool bigger than the person who knows it allis the person who argues with him.- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec, Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be bornat the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.- Mark Twain, Life onlyappears to berushing toward us- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.- Mary Anne Radmacher, No matter how much cats fight,there always seem to be plenty of kittens.- Abraham Lincoln, In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon, The most difficult phase of lifeis not when no one understands you,it is when you don't understand yourself.- Anonymous, Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.- Mark Twain, To the young child, all life is a great adventure -when did we grow so dull and brittle.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie. The Quotes is a compilation of quotes, riddles, and jokes. M&M’s, Jujubes, SweeTarts. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial. Do not take life too seriously. Do not take life too seriously. You can enjoy the quality of the ad and not let them pressure you to buy what you don't really need. 1. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Funny Inspirational Quotes Funny inspirational quotes are fun to read. Make a cup of coffee or tea and relax. Old age is fifteen years older than I am.- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Live life on the edge, not with an edge.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.- Anonymous, We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.- Oscar Wilde, One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.- Winston Churchill, Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.- John Lennon, The difference between school and life?In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.- Tom Bodett, Life is serious, get out your magic wand.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.- Ogden Nash, If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, It takes a big cat to be number 2.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, The essence of life is not inthe great victories and grand failures,but in the simple joys.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.- Vivian Greene, Play with life, laugh with life,dance lightly with life,and smile at the riddles of life,knowing that life's only true lessonsare writ small in the margin.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, I have found that if you love life,life will love you back.- Arthur Rubinstein, They have come up with a perfect understanding.He won't try to run her life,and he won't try to run his, either.- Anonymous, Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978). There's no reason to become alarmed,and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?- the movie Airplane! Don't get so caught up in the mundane day to day tasks of life, that you never stop to enjoy it. Where there’s a will, there’s a relative. Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography. Life Smile Laugh. ... Life is too short. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”. There’s a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. – Ann Landers. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. “. You will never get out of it alive. And I'm sure you already know most of the things in this board. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Being alive is the special occasion” – Unknown Part of enjoying life is realizing that every second you have on this earth is precious and to be enjoyed. I want to encourage you to find the purpose of life in the smallest everyday things. Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about things. From work responsibilities to home chores, time to enjoy your life can seem limited. — Dalai Lama. General Mills is coming out with an organic Twinkie. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Funny Quotes shows that life should be lived one day at a time. Life is a journey - enjoy the journey. and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself. It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Funny life is too short quotes . Let us know if you have suggestions for us! If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. It’s simple, if it jiggles, it’s fat. I have had fun taking back superlatives and just ordinary good words and phrases from ads and trying to restore some of their life to them. This mall Santa seems insulted that I put down that protective paper before sitting on his lap. During the night, the tape skipped. The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of people under you, and nobody’s listening. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Life can also be a game. I have never been hurt by what I have not said. One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is when you were younger. Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. It may take too short a time. “I have learned that you can go anywhere you want to go and do anything you want to do and buy … "Even the moon, master of the sea, illuminator of the night, has her creators." “What are you supposed to be?”. Never try to tell everything you know. Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny. I … Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;live life to the fullest;make the most of what you have.It is later than you think.- Horace, If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm,you'll never enjoy the sunshine.- Morris West, There are two things to aim at in life:first, to get what you want,and after that to to enjoy it.- Logan Pearsall Smith, Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,but if I touched her, she would die.While not quite as delicate as butterflies,people also need private space and private timeaway from the demands of the world -even away from the attentions of thosewith whom they are most bonded.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Life is a song - sing it.Life is a game - play it.Life is a challenge - meet it.Life is a dream - realize it.Life is a sacrifice - offer it.Life is love - enjoy it.- Sai Baba, Know that life is a journey. Kenneth Branagh. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.”. Holding-on can be a joyful "this is just the nature of Life, so I may as well enjoy it" kind of holding-on. Enjoy the moment, this moment is your life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.” Arthur C. … - Albert Einstein. There’s only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete … Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. People always ask kids the same stupid questions. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed. T know that the nature of genius is to be happy. ” animal eating an endangered eating! Than you halloween is the best medicine for your soul alone than when was! Be so involving to the farmhouse yelling, “ let us know if you ’ re not every... Enjoy every moment because life is precious and unfortunately, we both took naps, we only a. Is nothing better for people in this world there ’ s in love, drunk, running... 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